¡Atención!

[xp_rictor]

This is hard to explain but a human spirit inhabits a lily I have growing in the greenhouse. This is temporary because I think he needs more space. I will plant him outside when the weather improves. He is not dangerous but please do not agitate him. That's just simple kindness.

His name is Ted.

Comments

[xp_shatterstar]

the lily u got from a girl is a man ... ?

[xp_liono]

omg, Shatterstar, gender isn't binary. fungus have like 1000 genders and fish can change them. why can't a plant be a man??

[xp_catseye]

Unlikely, since there is no empirical evidence for the human soul. This is a belated April Fool's joke, probably.

Anyway, Rictor could plant all the men he wants. This is America.

[xp_clea]

No. He is telling the truth. Topaz detected emotions coming from Ted. I was there.

[xp_catseye]

Attributing emotions to plants is just a form of anthropomorphization. The studies which show a favorable response to singing and encouraging speech correlate not to emotion or intent, but to the positive effects of mild vibrations, ideally between 115-250 hertz. It's simply a physical reaction similar to how the vibrations of a cat's purr, which is between 25 to 150 hertz, may promote healing. This is Science.

[xp_clea]

I understand what you are trying to get across. But this one is a bit different. Plus, there is the magic aspect of it all. It is bloody weird but we are looking into it. Cata won't go near it. So, there is that.

[xp_catseye]

Oh.

Well, whatever it is, it doesn't sound very sanitary to plant it on mansion grounds.

[xp_daytripper]

Ted is perfectly sanitary. He's also not to be bothered while we (the magic folks and the science folks) work out how to deal with the "half-plant half-man" thing we have going on. He's promised not to eat anyone, but I'll give him leeway if he eats someone harassing him.

[xp_catseye]

Hmmm.

[xp_clea]

*HIM. Won't go near *him*! He isn't fully a plant. I am sorry Ted, you deserve better.

[xp_rictor]

I didn't ask Ted his pronouns so I am just guessing Ted is he. We could be wrong! Next time he talks to me, I'll ask.

[xp_rictor]

When you put it that way, it sounds so stupid! 💀😭❤️

[xp_mimetic]

“I dont date men i just plant them in my greenhouse” smh 🙄🥷💅🐣🌶️

[xp_rictor]

funny you should say that

[xp_velocidad]

...........wait what

[xp_artie]

We've seen weirder, bro. Nazi bees still top this.

[xp_velocidad]

I don't think I was here for that either? Or did I block it out?

[xp_daytripper]

Neither of you were around for that one. It's in the archive under "BEEEES!"

[xp_velocidad]

Yeah I don't read that stuff -- there's enough to read with the things that have happened since I got here.

[xp_erverse]

lol do your job you dumb bitch

[xp_velocidad]

bitch i am focused on the future thank you so much

[xp_submariner]

How like a mortal to assume all spirits are human.

[xp_velocidad]

not "lord, what fools these mortals be"

[xp_submariner]

Fools? Always.

[xp_wildchild]

I think the king is but a man, as I am: the violet smells to him as it doth to me: the element shows to him as it doth to me.



I mean if we're gonna quote shakespeare about plants and kings...

[xp_rictor]

He is, I saw his real form.

[xp_submariner]

Ah, the confidence of youth. Nature spirits take many appealing forms and reveal themselves to mortals about as often as air-breathers speak with wisdom — rarely and usually by mistake.

If true? A man, bound to a plant? There is a poetic sorrow in that.

[xp_longshot]

Welcome, Ted! 👋

Let me know if you all need a second hand. A little kindness goes a long way, after all, and I have a touch of empathy to share.

[xp_legion]

You remember what happened the last time you touched something magic, right?

NO.

[xp_blackcat]

I don't know, just sounds like something funny happened and I didn't even get to witness it

[xp_legion]

Do you remember last January when we briefly had to declare everything in Arthur's immediate vicinity a no-go zone? It was related to that.

[xp_blackcat]

lol I stand by my statement

[xp_longshot]

Hey now, that happened exactly and only once! What are the chances.

[xp_legion]

From the man whose power and career are literally tempting fate? Now I know you're screwing with me.

[xp_longshot]

[Arthur Centino reacted with 😎 to this comment]

[xp_topaz]

You will be sharing absolutely nothing

[xp_longshot]

Whoa, harsh! But hey I get it — mystery is way cooler. Builds intrigue.

[xp_meggan]

Well, then--please pass on a great big hello and welcome to the mansion’s greenhouse to Ted for me!

And I really hope he settles in well when you can eventually get him replanted. There will be no agitating of any kind from me.